Chauceres Pilgrimes were verray much alyv...
Welcome, sondry folk! I'm so glad to see so many of you here. As your Host, I'm here to break the ice a little bit. Now, I know we've all been introduced before, but it's been a while, hasn't it? So why don't each of you tell us a little about yourself and what you've been up to. Kick back, have some ale - hey, lighten up, Toots, it's a party! - and let's all get to know each other a little better.
-The Hooste with the Mooste
Þe Wyf of Bath y-cleped I, to wit,
Þat I shall be a tale-teller fit!
I'd work harder in my Middle English, but bloody hell if the Royal Wedding isn't on the telly right now. I applaud good old Camilla for snagging #2 - and what a catch! Right smart dealing with husband #1, if you ask me. Bit of a bollocks-up with Di, of course.
Right, about me... Well, I'm single for the time being, enjoy settling the accounts of my fullery and taking long horseback rides into the sunset (astride, of course). I'm not terribly fond of very heavy reading, but I do consider myself a bit of a Biblical scholar, as well as an expert on celebrity gossip. And I do enjoy a good booze-up from time to time.
How about the rest of you? I am particularly interested in getting to know you, Clerk...
I make myselfe a nam from Chaucer’s booke:
if it please, good Lords, Roger þe Cook
I be; and it ys seide in Londoun toun
that ‘tis boþ name and good instruccione
for keen lemman be I to ladyes bryghte
whan that they mak aventure of a nyght...
I'm sure we're all going to get along just great. I'm not much for fancy talk, y'know, but I love a good story and a good ale, and by God if I haven't brought plenty of both...anyone care for a sup of chicken soup?
*crushes beer can against forehead*
I’m the Miller! Who wantsta fight! I can take alla ya!
So I’m a miller, but things have been sucking for small farmers lately and despite my "golden thumb" I had to take a second job. I was a bouncer in a titty bar – ROCK! Free drinks and boobies every night! But then I got fired because I beat up a guy for being Jewish. WTF? Nowadays I spend most of my time in bars, kicking some ass at arm-wrestling and drinking contests. So you fags better think twice before fucking with me!!!
Another NONNE with hir hadde she,
That was hire chapeleyne, and preestes thre.
Hello, fellow travellers. I'm the Prioress' Nun, her secretary, general go-fer, etc.
My father, God bless his soul, petitioned our local priest to see if I could be a secretary to the Prioress, as she being of great dignity and importance might need someone to record her holy thoughts. The Lord was looking out for me that day, and has continued to keep me in the palm of his hand.
I'm always ink-stained somehow; my nose is always in a book, and I'm here to assist the Prioress whereever possible.
I am, God wot, a Pardoner of mene
with manie hooly relics for to sene,
a scrip with writs of Roman provenaunce
al scriven in an Englisshe hand, bi chaunce.
A murie row of badges rings my hood,
from pilgrimages al done for my goode.
My busyness is preestly; I can foster
grete reverence by speking "paternoster";
or give a sermoun, guard your soules welle
or offere saintes bones for to selle...
Great blessings, good pilgrims. I offer my services on the long road to and from Canterbury, both as a holy guide (for I have been to the blessed shrine of St. Thomas many times ere this) and as a source of most holy and rare items for your use. I am but newly returned from Rome, where I was able to obtain writs of Indulgence at great personal cost, and moreover have a great many Saints' relics to share with you to increase the holiness of our journey and the efficacy of our spiritual pilgrimage. Would any of you very devout gentlemen or ladies care to examine my treasures?
Good madam, I am quite sure the Summoner has his own holy bone... and it appears, from your little picture, that you have got one of your own there as well.
As for my sack, why, nothing more or less than the most blessed stuff you can imagine is contained therein. Perhaps later, I will offer the assemblage a chance to experience its wonders for themselves.
Hullo fayre compaignye! I am so excited for us all to see the holy martyr. Surely doing so will show our devout and faithful hearts to the Lord. Horses are my second love, below only the blessed Savior, and accompanying me is the sturdy brown steed Leopold. It is my hope that along the way we will find some time for hunting, such a noble and good sport blessed by God above. Allons-y devant lui!